Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
