dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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