Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
