My nipple is on Facebook.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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