I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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