can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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