you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
