That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
