Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
