Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
