I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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