is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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