Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
