I have demons in me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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