Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
