i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
