I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
