Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
