you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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