I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
