He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
