How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
