I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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