So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
