Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
