I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
