i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize