This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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