went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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