If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
