I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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