I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize