Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
