Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
