why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
