it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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