I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
