I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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