Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
