She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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