yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize