He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
