just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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