I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
where are my eyebrows?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
