Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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