i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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