idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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