i just wanna soil my oats bro
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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