it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
