Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
