i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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