Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize