I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
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