At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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