last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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