Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
