I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
