he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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