Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Pooping to opera.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
