Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
