ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Damn victory sex feels great
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
