Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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