is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize