It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
