we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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