I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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