pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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