We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
