im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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