If that was your dad, he is hot
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
