i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
