i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need to align my fucking chakras
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
