you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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