I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize