As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
