hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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