She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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